No matter the details of our own experiences we are all, at once, perpetrator and victim. Amongst our ranks are bullies and those victimized by bullies, at school and in adult life. Some of us are just hanging on, sometimes by a thread. Some of us are beginning to realize why we have allowed ourselves to be endlessly victimized, only then to take it out on others. Some of us realize that, all along, when we have insisted that our bullying is not as bad as our spouses, children and co-workers have suggested, that it has actually been worse. Some of us are beginning to feel, in a deeper way than ever before, the depth of the trauma we have endured – and how much desperate energy we have exerted to not feel it and to hide it from ourselves and the world.
With this opening, we begin to feel, likely for the first time since we were children, before that was crushed in us. We feel the pain of another, maybe a stranger, and want to walk over and hold that fragile and lovely person you have just met in your arms; just hold them so they feel acknowledged and safe. Maybe for the first time, they have willed the courage to reveal themselves – to themselves and the world. And… it’s okay because we are all right there with them; because we are them.