When you can’t find something, is your very first thought always (Every. Single. Time.), “Who took it!?”
In other words, is your default position – in life – to blame anyone other than yourself, whether you’ve misplaced your water bottle or lost your job?
This is an indicator of deep childhood trauma. It is a hair-trigger response that has become hardwired over a lifetime. It represents the formidable defenses you have put in place to protect your Wall; the Wall you erected early on to protect your heart from abuse and neglect.
These fortifications were necessary when you were young. As an adult, they are debilitating, compromising every aspect of your life.
So, how can you stop being a slave to your unconscious defenses?
Once you start to pay closer attention to your thoughts and actions, you can identify your predictable patterns of reaction and behavior.
Then you can begin to create some space, tiny at first, between the situation and your reaction.
Then you can work to expand that space, which provides the opportunity to choose how you react.
Then you can see things more clearly; see your own significant yet unwitting role in creating the situation.
Then you can begin to heal.